TOP STORY: WHO LET THE WOLVES OUT?
The Accordlands, never a stable place to begin with, experienced a massive outbreak of freak activity this last January, right on the heels of cataclysmic events of this autumn. Animal attacks have tripled in frequency, primarily those perpetrated by Tooth & Claw. Reports flood in of Stormwraiths and Death Knights flooding the countryside.And where are the people in all of this? Rallying behind our heroes here in the Freekingdoms. Shining beacons of brilliance like our own fallen angel, Uriel Dawnbringer. Though traditionally the protector of the Andovian nobility, Uriel's failure to save King Michael the First saw a loss of position for him in the celestial heirarchy. Detractors of the fallen angel state emphatically that the Celestial's incompetence was brought on by being hung over after a night of debauchery with his drinking buddies Loki and Bartleby, Uriel has choosen not to comment. Investigations conducted by the church of Neus are underway.
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SKIN IS OVERRATED!
Proving that clothes really do make the man, Modred of Carcis can be seen here modeling the latest in Stormwraith fashion from deep in the depths of the storm. Watch out elven ladies, his vow of chastity means that this steamy Storm rider is strictly hands-off! |
ASSASSIN'S STRIKE SETTLEMENT REACHED!
After six long months of careful negotiations, the Assassins' Strike has come to an end, to the relief of all parties involved. Black Tom of Corinth and Logan Ebonwoulfe met and shook hands today in front of almost five reporters, declaring that the schism in the Guild is now nonexistent. Further, several high-profile assassins have been made themselves known recently, executing their appointed tasks with great panache and a flair for the dramatic. Ebonwoulfe has stated that these new 'good-aligned' assassins will be more commonplace, appearing in both the Freekingdoms and the Dwarven nations. When asked why the elven assassin Jaridesse was hunting down Navdai, Black Tom withheld comment and kicked Logan when the ex-Baraxtonner went to say something. Speculation runs rampant.
Voice your opinion of the Navdai issue
THE NOTHROG GIANTS ARE COMING TO TOWN
That's right, the Nothrog Giants are coming to town to take on the Dwarven Gargoyles for the Uberbowl. Llyr is proud to be the host of this year's Accordlands Football Uberbowl, a time-honored tradition that stands up to even interesting times such as these. Coach Sceth Hellbringer of the Giants has stated "Wark! We'll rough their spitoon with a looking glass of prudence!" when asked of his confidence in his team's performance. Team captain Kul Tergoth said the following of his gameplan: "We've got a buzzer tough salami. Gargoyles couldn't bifurcate boxcars without settling philosophy on jelly." The Gargoyle Coach, Sjonegaard, rebutted with "GRUUUUUUUUUU..." followed by some hooting and arm-waving. Anticipation is at a fever pitch in Llyr; even the occupation of the elven armies has failed to dim the spirits of sports fans everywhere. Baqbou Umbala has more on the Uberbowl in Llyr in the Sports section. |
DEMONS ON THE LOOSE!
Rumors have been circulating for months about escaped Abyssals roaming the Accordlands, and this photograph, taken by a roving Rowan reporter proves that they indeed are! Three sightings have been confirmed so far, alongside civilian reports "Christ, that thing's broken beyond words!" The Rowan Report highly discourages attempting to photograph demons such as Ter-Soth (above), since those that attempt such a feat usually lose their souls.
Have you seen an Abyssal? Tell us about it. You may win a free ROWAN REPORT T-shirt! |
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